Well-being tip #9: chemo gifts

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I received lots of gifts from my family members and friends. I loved every single one of course, because they were all full of sentimental value. With Valentine’s Day approaching soon, I thought it would be useful to have a list of gifts that are helpful for chemo patients, especially chemo girls. But don’t worry, if you are after a present for a friend or family member, this list will help you too!

1- Forget flowers and chocolate

Although I did get quite a few bunches of flowers and lots of chocolate (and I enjoyed them very much), chemo leaves us with a less than ideal immune system to protect us from infections and it changes our taste. Flowers can harbour fungal spores that can cause infections, while even the best chocolate might not taste that great. Some chemo patients might also feel that flowers are a reminder of being sick. So I would say flowers and chocolates are probably not the best present during treatment. Also if your friend is in hospital, avoid bringing flowers, as they significantly increase risk of infection. With the sickness caused by chemo, we might not feel much like sweets.

2- Scarves, hats and all sorts of head stuff

If she is going to or has already lost her hair, anything that she can wear to disguise the hair loss will be a great present. In summer, our heads can get quite hot in wigs, so silk scarves (which are light and fresh) and beach hats (to protect our delicate scalp from being sunburn) are lovely gifts. During winter, having no hair is so cold! So cute beanies or scarves to go out, or comfy beanies to wear at home (such as those used for skiing) are a wonderful gift. If you know how to knit, you could do one beanie of each colour to your friend!

You could always take her to do wig shopping! While this could be quite fun for both of you, I feel wigs can be quite personal, as they are size specific and there are lots of options (colour, hair texture, length, real vs synthetic hair), so I wouldn’t recommend buying someone else a wig. Make it a memorable, fun day, and she will be eternally grateful!

3- Moisturiser and body wash for sensitive skin

During chemo our skin becomes super dry and sensitive. Normal soaps feel very harsh in our delicate skin. So you could get her a sensitive body wash (even an inexpensive baby body wash will be great). For the body, my dermatologist Dr Veronica Bender recommended Cetaphil Moisturiser Lotion and for the face the Hydrance Optimale Rich Hydrating Cream from Avene. As I explained in one of my past blogs, what you want is a moisturiser for sensitive skin that contains ingredients that will keep your skin moist for a long time, such as shea butter and hyaluronic acid, and vitamins, such as C and E.

4- Lip balm

Her lips also need special care during chemo, as they also become dry and can split. This can be an open door to undesired infections, so she would appreciate some lip balm.

5- Makeup and makeup brushes

Makeup will be her BFF during and in the first months after chemo! Even if she didn’t used to apply much makeup previously, she is likely to start applying it now, as it will help her look and feel “normal”. The best (and cheapest) option is to register her to attend a free session of the “Look Good Feel Better” program. It’s a great program for you to go together! There, she will learn how to put makeup on and leave with a bag of goodies.

Otherwise, you can take her to a department store (such as Myer or David Jones in Australia) or even a pharmacy (such as Priceline) where they can show her how to apply makeup and help her to find the best products for her skin type and tone. Alternatively, stores such as Mecca or Sephora will offer makeup lessons for about $100, and the value can be redeemed for products on the day – I did one at Mecca that I absolutely loved! A makeup artist at Sephora helped me to find a CC cream and eyebrow pencil that would match my skin tone.

Makeup brushes are also a great present! Aim for very soft brushes or sponges to apply the foundation, and soft brushes to apply eye shadow.

6- Massage

Some side effects of chemo can include (severe) bone pain and peripheral neuropathy (i.e., nerve damage in the extremities such as hands and feed which can be quite painful too). A lovely gift I received from a friend was a massage with an oncology massage therapist. Massage is a great gift as it will help her relax and also reduce pain, fatigue and anxiety (in fact the Cancer Council has a whole list of benefits of massage for onco patients here). While it is not essential that the therapist is specialised in oncology, I would recommend it for several reasons. First and foremost, she needs a massage therapist that understands the importance of hygiene to keep the risk of infection low. Second, onco massage can be quite different from a normal massage, and it needs to be adjusted for the type of treatment she is receiving and stage of treatment/recovery. Also if she has a port-a-cath or PICC line, the massage therapist needs to avoid massaging the area. Here is a website where you can find oncology massage therapists in your area.

You could always give her a massage too! My recommendation would be some foot massage, which is almost error-free!

7- Juice and fresh food, or a cooked meal

Having a balanced diet is very important during chemo, but sometimes it can very difficult. There are days we might feel too unwell or tired to do our shopping or cooking. But there is nothing better than a home-cooked meal! Remember to ask your friend if there is anything she doesn’t feel like or cannot eat during chemo (some tips in my past post about food and nausea). Fresh juices and produce are also good choices, but depending on how her immune system they might not be recommended. I craved so much fresh fruit during chemo, and I have heard several other patients saying the same, so I think she would love some too!

8- Cleaner

Who doesn’t love a clean home?! But with chemo this can be difficult to do for several reasons. The main reason is that she might just feel too tired to get out of bed, so cleaning is out of question. Second, she might also feel too sick. So how about surprise her with a cleaner (even a 3h service would be AMAZING), or do it yourself, I am sure she would appreciate it very much!

9- Books (chemo books or whatever type of book your friend likes)

During chemo, she might have some extra time to do some reading, either at the hospital during treatment or at home, when she doesn’t have the energy to do anything else. Books can be a great distraction! You could get her a chemo good such as “Beauty Pearls for Chemo Girls” or any type of book she likes to read. The important thing here is to be enjoyable, so she can forget about the “Big C” for a while.

10- Grateful diaries

I love grateful diaries, and it is an easy present! You just need to find a small notebook that has a nice cover (if you are creative you could even DIY!). Write the instructions in the first page (you can find them in one of my past blogs), and maybe give her a hand with the first day or two. These little diaries help us see the beauty in life when we think there is none.

11- Lifts (to/from hospital, doctor, shops or anywhere she wants to go)

Getting to and from places during chemo can be quite challenging sometimes. So why not offer her a lift? It is a great way to say that you care about someone and to spend some time together.

Other presents might include a warm blanket for the cold months (as we feel colder), warm socks, a nice card, (happy ending) DVDs... I am sure no matter what you get her, she is going to love it because it came from you!

I hope the gift ideas are helpful! Enjoy Valentine’s Day (and every day of your lives)!

Lots of love and health

Fran xo

PS: photo from http://www.cancergifts.com/ where you can buy baskets, also http://www.notanotherbunchofflowers.com/ has lots of options (run by an ex-chemo girl)