Well-being tip #12: preparing for chemo
When we are diagnosed with cancer, it takes a while for us to process everything that is happening. It might feel it is not real. I remember waking up several nights thinking I was having a nightmare. I would then reach for my (short or non-existent) hair or touch my belly, and would be immediately reminded of my fate. We feel confused, since there is so much to think about, and sometimes we forget to make the right questions or take some very necessary actions. So today I wrote a guide on how to prepare for chemo, physically and emotionally.
Tip #1: There is no such a thing as a dumb question: ask your doctor everything!
Our oncologist team is our best friend during this time! Being diagnosed with cancer and doing chemo is very scary and we need to make sure we get answers for all our questions, no matter how silly we think they are. This will help reduce our anxiety and also avoid getting incorrect answers on our worst enemy during chemo: ‘Dr Google’.
Here are some questions I asked my onco team:
What type of drug and how many cycles of chemo am I going to receive?
Am I going to lose my hair?
What are the other side effects of these drugs? Is there anything I can do to prevent or ameliorate them?
Should I be taking any vitamins? Or can I take any vitamins?
Can I exercise during chemo? Can I swim?
Can I have sex during chemo? Is the surgery going to change anything down under? (this one I asked immediately before the surgery! Some tips here)
Can I work during chemo? If not, is there any financial assistance available?
Is there anything I should avoid eating or drinking during chemo?
Other questions I didn’t get to ask but that might be useful for you are:
Am I going to be on menopause? Is it permanent?
Do I need to consider freezing eggs/ovarian tissue/sperm? Is there enough time for it?
As a medical researcher, I would also read scientific articles about my treatment and discuss their implications on my own treatment with my medical team. They were usually open to my ideas when scientific evidence was strong to support it, such as doing weekly chemo. The bottom line is: don’t be afraid to ask! Remember it is our life on the line, and we want to make sure we can have the best life quality no matter what treatment we are having.
Tip #2: Get help: communicate well with your family and friends
Being diagnosed with cancer doesn’t affect only us, it deeply affects everybody who loves us too. Good communication is fundamental during this difficult time. For me, one of the hardest things I had to do was to tell my parents and my now fiancé Ian about my diagnosis. I was heartbroken for them, for the way I knew they were going to feel. But I also knew it was important I had their support, and for them to support me they needed to know what was happening. I understand that this is incredibly hard and in the end it is YOUR decision (and nobody else’s) who you tell about your diagnosis and treatment.
Also as a woman, I know how hard it is to ask for help, but most of the time those close to us want to help, but have no idea how. That’s why communicating how you are feeling and how they can help is important. Help can come in several forms, including a lift to the hospital, grocery shopping, cleaning or cooking, delivering a meal, paying bills, entertaining the kids, a massage, or just company!
Tip #3: Visit the dentist
Starting chemo with healthy and clean gums and teeth will help you too. Chemo lowers the number of platelets, cells that help our blood to coagulate, making us bleed easier. Unhealthy gums due to plaque in our teeth will naturally bleed more, so clean teeth will decrease bleeding. Major dental might not be advised during treatment too due to higher risk of infection. Doing a dental clean before chemo is also a good opportunity to check with your dentist the availability of LED light, which can be used to decrease healing time of mouth ulcers due to chemo.
Tip #4: Get a wig/hair accessories sorted
As I wrote in my previous blog, if the chemo drugs you are receiving are likely to cause hair loss and scalp cooling is not an option, you better prepare yourself for the inevitable. If you want to get a wig that copies your own hair, this is the best moment. Go to wig shops before you lose your hair, so they can see the texture and colour of your existing hair. Or if you have long hair, you can cut it and make a wig with it (like I did and absolutely love it!). I would recommend getting some options of headwear before you lose your hair, so that when it happens you have something lovely to wear. Even if your heart is not set in wearing a wig, you might still want to get some hats or caps during summer to protect your sensitive scalp, and some beanies or scarves to wear during winter, because having no hair makes our head very cold!
You will start losing your hair about 2 weeks after the first treatment. I highly suggest you cut your hair short or shave immediately when this starts. Why? Because losing clumps of hair every single minute (and especially in the shower) is quite heart breaking – not talking about the mess, and you might want to avoid it. In fact, I have seen lots of women saying that shaving before they lost their hair was empowering, as you can take control of the process and don’t wait for the treatment to take it away.
Tip #5: Get your skin pack ready
As I wrote in earlier blogs, during chemo it is normal that our skin feels dryer, more sensitive and delicate in general. Keeping your skin hydrated and healthy will not only boost your self-stem during chemo, but also protect you from unwanted infections. Try to use products that are very gentle: no detergents, no fragrance and no colour, and stay away from body soaps or cleansers that contain alcohol or oil. Oils are not good during chemo because they don’t add moisture, they just lock it in, so they won’t help if have no moisture to start with. Instead use body butter with vitamin E and ingredients to heal your skin, such as aloe, arnica and chamomile, and ingredients that attract water, such as hyaluronic acid, filaggrin and avocado. My dermatologist recommended the Cetaphil Restoraderm Moisturiser for the body and the Avene Hydrance Optimale Rich Hydrating Cream for the face, for example.
Tip #6: Prepare meals in advance
The days immediately after chemo you may feel more tired, have body pain and the nausea might be worse. It is a good idea to prepare meals in advance, some soup for example. I was desperate for chicken soup and fresh orange juice. I would always have some home-made cooked meals in the freezer too. Just remember that with nausea and taste changes caused by chemo, you might not feel like having strong or heavy food.
Tip #7: Get a diary and a grateful book
The first seven days after my first chemo cycles I used to write down what symptoms I had and how I felt every day (and sometimes even every 12 hours). I found this helpful for two reasons. The first was to report back to my onco team any symptoms I had (because otherwise my chemo brain would forget about them by my next appointment), so that they could help me manage them or adjust my chemo accordingly. The second reason was for myself. On my next cycle of chemo, I knew what to expect and when, so I could plan my life around it. For example, I knew which days my nausea was worse and I would feel like staying home and having soups and toasties, so I would avoid making big plans on those days.
I also suggest you get a grateful diary. Any small, nice looking notebook will do – you want it to feel precious! I usually try to find at least 3 things that I am grateful for every day. They can be as small or as big as you want. For example, there are days that I am grateful for the sunshine and warm weather, for being able to sleep well the night before, or that Ian cooked me dinner. It can also be a message of support I received from a friend, a gift someone gave me, a compliment I got at work... Other days, I might be grateful that my cancer marker is still low, or that I completed months without chemo. I am sure that even in the middle of a cancer diagnosis and treatment you still have lots of things to be grateful for in your life!
Tip #8: Distract your mind with something you enjoy
Remember that book you have been postponing reading for months (or years)? Or that TV series or movie your friend said is lots of fun? Now it might be a good time to read or watch it. The first days after chemo you might not feel like doing much more than staying in bed or on the couch – and that is okay. Plan to have something enjoyable to fill in the time (and stops the negative thoughts about cancer and chemo). Some ideas include fun movies, TV series, books, music, cat or dog videos on YouTube (my favourite!), and mindfulness. But nothing beats good company and a chat about great memories and going forward!
Wishing you all much health and love
Fran xo
